Why is my are teenage boy starting to talk back, being disrespectful, and wants to quit?

Why is my are teenage boy starting to talk back, being disrespectful, and wants to quit?  This is a question I have been asking myself lately. In doing a little research I ran across a BSA article I had shared on our scouting face book page a while back. It was all about why boys might want to quit scouting, and why the parents should carefully think about their response. I took a few minutes and modified the article to be a bit more generic, not scouting specific. As a parent I find myself frustrated, feeling a bit overwhelmed. This article helped me put things in to perspective. I hope it helps you.

As boys grow up and especially during their adolescence they need consistent, secure, predictable experiences and relationships. Much of their world is shifting and changing as they grow and change themselves. They need affirmation and confidence. Some boys may seem they are encountering changes that make them question their abilities and redefining the way they see themselves. This uncertainty can be invigorating or unsettling, or a bit of both. Boys need expressions of affirmation and confidence especially when they make mistakes in judgment or encounter failure.

Boys are defining the borders of their world as they grow into adults. They question rules, they push limits, they resist. They are looking for the reason behind the expectations imposed on them. They won't admit it, but they appreciate some discipline that helps them focus on these expectations. There are three basic situations to consider: They are in the throes of adolescent uncertainty, sometimes they are clearly headed for trouble. They

may fill their schedule with other interests, they may grow to abhor things they have enjoyed for years. They may just be ready to explore new things. I encourage parents in this situation to help their sons make a clear decision.

When boys are experiencing the uncertainty of adolescence they need consistency, security, affirmation, confidence, discipline and predictable expectations. As a parent I would push him to stick with the activity he wants to quit. Sports, Band, Scouting are just a few examples. He’ll resist, he’ll complain about it, but I’d keep with it for a few months and reassess the situation. If a boy is headed for trouble, by that I mean his behavior and choices are clearly leading him towards people, places and activities that are going to threaten his education, health or safety, his parents are headed for one of two battles. Would you rather go to battle over making him to stick with a positive activity, or would you rather deal with the consequences of your son getting into serious trouble? There’s no guarantee but making him stick to it may save you and your son from suffering the consequences of real trouble.