Assertiveness or Persistence

What’s the opposite of assertiveness and persistence? Aggressiveness and demanding.  One works and the other doesn’t.  Do one and you’ll get taken seriously, do the other and you’ll be laughed at.

Assertiveness is stating what you want in a respectful, but no-nonsense tone.  Assertiveness doesn’t demand, it states strongly.  Aggressiveness demands emotionally with an implied threat if demands aren’t met.  It certainly works, but usually with damage done.  Be aggressive long enough and you’ll be avoided at all cost.

Persistence is the act of sticking with a request by using different approaches to achieve the desired end-state.  There is a fine balance between persistence and annoyance.  Persistence is a series of gentle reminders.  Done with the right tone and variety, they will achieve their goal.  Demanding has the subtlety of a jackhammer.  It often works (just as you’d do most anything to shut the noise of a jackhammer off) but results are short-lived and pretty much guarantees that it’s a one-time victory.

People who are aggressive and demanding get what they want, but will never be taken seriously.  Using a tactful mix of assertiveness and persistence is the strategy of any successful salesperson or business person.  The tools take less emotion, use less fear, and build up confidence.  Learned early enough, they are your ticket to success in school, relationships, and in the beginning stages of work life.  Applied consistently, they are the building blocks of successful careers.   Ultimately, they’ll send the message that you’re mature and should be taken seriously.