Grace Under Fire

I might have to turn in my "man card", but sometimes I watch figure skating . A friend of mine use to make fun of me. He said, "it might be more fun to watch if someone periodically tossed handfuls of ball bearings on the ice during the routines". Every once in a while you come across a couple who are really good.  The guy skates all around flipping the girl up and around but at no time does either one show the slightest sign of stress.  If "grace under pressure" needed an example, it is in a well executed routine. A routine last about three minutes or so. When its flawless, its excellent.

When I think back on people who impressed me the most, they usually were the ones who didn't panic when times got tough.  I've worked for many bosses in the Army who would "sweat the load" anytime something stressful happened.

I've dealt with employees who panicked when faced with challenging situations.  I've coached supervisors who either scream at troublesome employees or hide in their offices afraid to confront them.  There is something to be said for people who assertively face a crisis head-on and make it look like it's routine. 

How you do that varies by individual of course, but I've found a couple ways to help handle pressure with grace:

1.  Breath deep.  I've heard that breathing deeply increases the oxygen flow to your brain. When you're brain is firing on all cylinders, you'll be able to make a better decision when things are falling apart.

2.  Resist the urge to panic.  Several years ago, I was buying a snack at a 7-11 store.  I heard a woman screaming from the back of the store.  When I ran back to investigate, it was an old lady who was trapped in the beer cooler.  I opened the door and she hugged me proclaiming that I saved her life.  Turns out she panicked back there and rather than push on the door handle, kept pulling it toward her giving her the feeling she was trapped.  Don't be the old lady in the freezer.

3.  Put on a stiff upper lip.  Making the choice to be cool under stress means that you're gearing up for it and will be more equipped to handle it.  Wipe the "drama" off your face and make something happen.  The people around you will feed off of your confidence.

4.  Realize that nobody's going to die.  How bad is the crisis?  If there's not a chance of death, you can recover.  If death is a possible outcome, you have my permission to panic a little, but not until after the crisis is averted. Just don't let anyone see you do it.That's grace under pressure.

Got grace?  I hope so.

Are People Too Stupid to Govern Themselves?

I have never written about politics, but when you feel like you should, you probably should. Though I am registered as a republican, I have always voted for the person I felt was right for the job. I feel it is a travesty we are normally stuck with choosing one of the two major parties.  

You know, the most troubling argument in our national life these days isn’t about economics, or policy at all. It’s about us, as a free people. From a world view, the contention is that we Americans just can’t cut it anymore. Can this be true? Are people too stupid to govern themselves?

Our politicians tell us that we just can’t handle ourselves in this intricate, hazardous world without their kindly protection. Left to ourselves, we might pick the wrong health insurance, the wrong mortgage, the wrong school for our kids; unless they stop us, we might pick the wrong light bulb!

Some contend we Americans are no longer up to the job of self-government. We can’t do the simple math that proves the tremendous cost of today’s safety net programs, or all the government we now have. We always fall for the con job that says we can just plow ahead and someone else will pick up the tab. We will allow ourselves to be pitted one against the other, blaming our neighbor for troubles worldwide trends or our own government has caused.

2012 must be the year we prove the doubters wrong. This is the year we strike out fearlessly not merely to ward off national bankruptcy, but to say to a new generation that America is still the world’s foremost land of opportunity. At the polls speak for those who believe in the dignity and capacity of the individual citizen; who believe that government is meant to serve the people rather than supervise them; who trust Americans enough to tell them the plain truth about the fix we are in, and to lay before them a specific, credible program of change big enough to meet the emergency we are facing.

The record by President Obama is a joke. No American should stand for the things done to them. Does the current administration only rely on those who are too stupid not to vote for them?  Is the message one only stupid people will believe? And while there are too many of those, most Americans shouldn’t be fooled into thinking the country can stand another four years.

Are People Too Stupid to Govern Themselves?

I have never written about politics, but when you feel like you should, you probably should. Though I am registered as a republican, I have always voted for the person I felt was right for the job. I feel it is a travesty we are normally stuck with choosing one of the two major parties.  

You know, the most troubling argument in our national life these days isn’t about economics, or policy at all. It’s about us, as a free people. From a world view, the contention is that we Americans just can’t cut it anymore. Can this be true? Are people too stupid to govern themselves?

Our politicians tell us that we just can’t handle ourselves in this intricate, hazardous world without their kindly protection. Left to ourselves, we might pick the wrong health insurance, the wrong mortgage, the wrong school for our kids; unless they stop us, we might pick the wrong light bulb!

Some contend we Americans are no longer up to the job of self-government. We can’t do the simple math that proves the tremendous cost of today’s safety net programs, or all the government we now have. We always fall for the con job that says we can just plow ahead and someone else will pick up the tab. We will allow ourselves to be pitted one against the other, blaming our neighbor for troubles worldwide trends or our own government has caused.

2012 must be the year we prove the doubters wrong. This is the year we strike out fearlessly not merely to ward off national bankruptcy, but to say to a new generation that America is still the world’s foremost land of opportunity. At the polls speak for those who believe in the dignity and capacity of the individual citizen; who believe that government is meant to serve the people rather than supervise them; who trust Americans enough to tell them the plain truth about the fix we are in, and to lay before them a specific, credible program of change big enough to meet the emergency we are facing.

The record by the administration and congress is a joke. No American should stand for the things done to them. Does the current administration only rely on those who are too stupid not to vote for them?  Is the message one only stupid people will believe? And while there are too many of those, most Americans shouldn’t be fooled into thinking the country can stand another four years.

Getting off your butt and taking charge.

Leadership: Getting off your butt and taking charge.

Saturday you probably saw the story unfolding down in Italy where the cruise ship Costa Concordia ran aground.  Early accounts talked about the ship's Captain, Francesco Schettino abandoning ship with passengers still aboard.  This morning. official transcripts from the port authority show a terrified ship commander that had no interest in re-boarding the stricken ship.  When the time for taking charge came along, he bailed out.

A friend of mine told me a story about attending a local rodeo. They parked the car in a cramped dirt lot across the street from the Convention Center and when they went to the get the car, it was parked in the corner with five cars stacked around it. The two Middle Eastern men who ran the lot were trying to park cars, remove cars, fix a flat which meant that him and the family were standing around for quite a while waiting for their car.  Finally, stressed out, both men just stood around, paralyzed while they stood out in the hot sun.  My friend yelled at them out of frustration, telling them that the cars won't move by just staring at them.  That seemed to shake them up and they got busy.  Finally they managed to get their car.  Nobody took charge and without that, nobody got anything done.

Leadership is a combination of knowing what you need to do, but the most important part is the actual doing!  Having knowledge and experience does nothing without taking charge and implementing it.

I'm starting to realize that the amount of people taking charge anymore is pretty small. Maybe people are searching in vain for that "leader."  I wonder if maybe this is your chance to step up?

Look for opportunities to take charge when there seems to be apathy or lethargy.  When the outcome is uncertain and people are paralyzed by it, it's your chance to jump in and take control.  Maybe there is a hidden leader inside that you'll finally get to awaken.

This is two incidents. Who knows how many you come across.  There is power in taking charge. Why not tap into that power?

Beware of "The Creep"

We're just a few days into the new year and for many folks, their well-intended resolutions (we've decided to call them goals) are already on the path to failure.

The scary part is that they have no idea.  For now everything seems right on track.  The diet's going well.  They've made it to the gym four of the past five days.  What ever your resolution. You're taking proactive steps.  What they haven't been tracking is the "creep." "Creep" is a word used in the consulting field when the original scope of the project is slowly and subtly increased.  It happens benignly enough but before it's too late to change course, the new changes are locked in.

The danger of the "creep" is that it starts so innocently and changes our thinking from "no way" to "it's OK, just this once."  From "scope creep" in a project to "brass creep" at the Pentagon, no one and no thing is immune to it.

This week, take another look at your goal and look for potential opportunities to "creep."  Make yourself aware so you can avoid those situations. Don't let your progress for this year get sidetracked from the beginning!

Why We Should Give Generously?

Why We Should Give Generously?                                                                                                                                     

Let me start out with saying, I have not always been the most generous of people. In fact I’m still not. I have cynical thoughts about those people I see alongside the road with signs asking for help. I think to myself, is this someone playing me for a sucker? Is he going to walk away from here, get in his new Mercedes and drive away? Try as I may, I can’t get myself to give those folks anything.                                 

What I have learned is when you give with joy, selflessness, and love, you benefit greatly. The attitude you bring to your giving will reflect the benefits you gain. Parents share their shelter, food, and love with their children simply because they love them and not because they seek their love. Ultimately, the rewards are tremendous.                                                                                                                                                      

When you give to others or give of yourself to meaningful causes, things change. You expect more of yourself. You discover new feelings of self-worth. Indeed, you begin to tap into your true gifts and talents. And when you do that, you can achieve your full potential as you help yourself and others.            

For some of us it does not come easy. What I have done is to see those folks commonly referred to as the working poor. Try as they might they are doing everything they can to keep a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. These are the folks I try and focus my efforts. I can’t get cynical here.                             

Do you know about a family or senior citizen who needs a little extra help during the holidays? Families are experiencing any number of issues.  While the most common is unemployment, there is also the under employed, or the working poor. Both have left them at Christmas with very few resources. For senior citizens, it’s individuals who are alone because they’ve lost a spouse and have no family or they are being protected from some kind of abuse. Without our help, they won’t be celebrating Christmas.      

The holiday spirit is infection this time of year.  It’s the time when people are nicer, more compassionate, more giving, and usually happier.  The spirit of giving is an interesting component of the overall holiday spirit.  It can be loosely defined by the Webster dictionary as an inclination, impulse, or tendency to give.  How can you not be intrigued by an invisible force that mystically inspires people to give more than any other time of year?  Almost all non-profit organizations receive 40% of their yearly donations in the last six weeks of the year, despite the need for donations all year long.                                

I’m asking everyone who is able to reach out and help someone who needs you. Trust me; you will be better for it. Don't rely on your neighbor to give, because they very well be relying on you.                            

Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.                                     

Proverbs 3:27

Your Beach

There's a commercial playing on TV these days showing a guy drinking a Corona on a beach and a flight attendant with one of those big rolling drink carts comes walking up to ask him if he's doing ok.  Turns out he's on a flight daydreaming about the beach.

Have you ever been told at the doctor or the dentist office to "go to your happy place" before a painful or scary procedure?  If so, you've probably found your "beach" someplace and went there in your mind.  This visualization is a powerful tool to help you relax.

Visualization is a technique where you mentally "go" someplace else.  I've seen it used in stress management classes and I've personally used it coaching nervous folks who need to do a presentation.  The mind is a very powerful tool.

I read an article a long time ago about a POW who spent years in the infamous Hanoi Hilton.  To combat the stress of solitary confinement, he would mentally play golf each day.  When he emerged years later, physically debilitated, he managed to have an outstanding score on his first day back on the course.  Each day he "played" the course in his mind and when he played for real, his body was already in sync.

Your "beach" is a great way to de-stress.  Pick a place that you can completely see, in all dimensions.  Imagine the sight, sounds, smells.  Visualize all the activities around you.  Take yourself there and stay there for the duration of the stressful event.  You'll notice a remarkable change in your stress level.

A word of warning though.  Avoid this "beach" while driving, sitting in a boring meeting or class where you may get called on, or when arguing with your significant other.  If you have to interact verbally or visually, you'll be so disconnected that you may not recover in time.  On that stressful flight, painful procedure, or other unnerving situations though, feel free to hit the "beach" and relax.  Who knows, maybe I'll see you there!