Do You Have Credibility?

More and more lately I realize that in many cases, a lot of folks don’t really carry a lot of credibility.  With that in mind, I thought I’d offer up some suggestions on how to be taken seriously.  This might be helpful advice if you’re trying to influence someone and might be very beneficial to young people who are trying to find their place in the world. 

1.      Be Current on Current Events.  I know most folks don’t care much for the news.  Frankly, with all of the UNFAIR and UNBALANCED views of ALL TV news (yes, this includes FOX news), I can’t blame them.  Regardless, having knowledge of current events gives you something to reference when you talk to people.

2.      Be Reliable.  More and more, I’m impressed with people, events, and services that actually start on time.  When someone I book an appointment with shows up on time, it’s more of the anomaly and not the norm.  Mediocrity seems to be the standard and anything slightly above seems amazing.  To be taken seriously, be EARLY and ready to go at the appointed time.  I guarantee you’ll make a great impression.

3.      Be Assertive.  Assertive is not to be confused with aggressive.  Assertive means that you take the lead in any type of interaction.  Introduce yourself rather than wait to be introduced.  Offer a firm handshake instead of accepting one.  Ask others their name and ask them questions about what they do rather than ask for a favor first.  Be an extravert in an introverted world and you’ll be taken seriously.  On another note though, if you’re already assertive, be prepared to tone it down if you typically intimidate and annoy others.  Assertiveness needs to be practiced with the right amount of balance

The Pygmalion Effect

I recently read an interesting article about San Francisco 49rs quarterback Alex Smith.  For those of you who don’t know, Alex Smith and Jim Harbaugh, Smith was the first overall draft pick in the 2005 draft.  For the first six years of his career, he failed to live up to his own billing, not to mention the great tradition of 49rs quarterbacks like Joe Montana and Steve Young.

Until this year.

What happened?  Smith found himself with a new coach, Jim Harbaugh, who believed in him.

Last season Smith finally lived up to what he was always projected to be. That was evidence of him having confidence in himself and his coach having confidence in him. That was a big step in showing the team and showing the fans, who had been calling for him to be out of there for a long time, that they can be successful with him.

Without probably knowing it, Harbaugh brought Smith back by creating The Pygmalion Effect which refers to the phenomenon in which the greater the expectation placed upon people, often children or students and employees, the better they perform. The effect is named after Pygmalion, a Cypriot sculptor in a narrative by Ovid in Greek mythology, who fell in love with a female statue he had carved out of ivory.

Have you ever had someone who really believed in you?  Did their belief instill a new sense of confidence in you?  It’s happened to me several times, most notably when a commander I worked for way back, believed in my ability so much he put me on the road to education. Without him I probably would still be a high school dropout who couldn’t get into college. The confidence he built in me enabled me to go on and have the career I have now.

On the other hand, have you ever had someone either verbally or non-verbally remove confidence in you?  If so, you probably felt discouraged, unmotivated, and lost any sense of creativity.  I’ve had that happen too!

What should we do?

First of all, if you’re working hard to develop personally and/or professionally, surround yourself with people who believe in you.  I’m not suggesting you get people who just accentuate the positive – I mean people who will build you up but also push you hard and won’t accept less than your full effort.

Second, if you’re in any position of influence (boss, parent, etc.) are you making every effort to call attention to a person’s strengths?  If you see any potential for greatness, are you identifying that and building on that?  Your encouragement might be just what they need to break through a personal or professional barrier.  It’s a great experience to see someone you care about achieve their goals or set new and exciting ones.

The Harbaugh/Smith connection will continue to play out through the next season.  I’ll be curious to see just how the second half of Smith’s career pans out next season.  No matter what, I’m sure he’ll play it with a renewed sense of energy and confidence.

What will you do this week to create The Pygmalion Effect with someone in your life?

Grace Under Fire

I might have to turn in my "man card", but sometimes I watch figure skating . A friend of mine use to make fun of me. He said, "it might be more fun to watch if someone periodically tossed handfuls of ball bearings on the ice during the routines". Every once in a while you come across a couple who are really good.  The guy skates all around flipping the girl up and around but at no time does either one show the slightest sign of stress.  If "grace under pressure" needed an example, it is in a well executed routine. A routine last about three minutes or so. When its flawless, its excellent.

When I think back on people who impressed me the most, they usually were the ones who didn't panic when times got tough.  I've worked for many bosses in the Army who would "sweat the load" anytime something stressful happened.

I've dealt with employees who panicked when faced with challenging situations.  I've coached supervisors who either scream at troublesome employees or hide in their offices afraid to confront them.  There is something to be said for people who assertively face a crisis head-on and make it look like it's routine. 

How you do that varies by individual of course, but I've found a couple ways to help handle pressure with grace:

1.  Breath deep.  I've heard that breathing deeply increases the oxygen flow to your brain. When you're brain is firing on all cylinders, you'll be able to make a better decision when things are falling apart.

2.  Resist the urge to panic.  Several years ago, I was buying a snack at a 7-11 store.  I heard a woman screaming from the back of the store.  When I ran back to investigate, it was an old lady who was trapped in the beer cooler.  I opened the door and she hugged me proclaiming that I saved her life.  Turns out she panicked back there and rather than push on the door handle, kept pulling it toward her giving her the feeling she was trapped.  Don't be the old lady in the freezer.

3.  Put on a stiff upper lip.  Making the choice to be cool under stress means that you're gearing up for it and will be more equipped to handle it.  Wipe the "drama" off your face and make something happen.  The people around you will feed off of your confidence.

4.  Realize that nobody's going to die.  How bad is the crisis?  If there's not a chance of death, you can recover.  If death is a possible outcome, you have my permission to panic a little, but not until after the crisis is averted. Just don't let anyone see you do it.That's grace under pressure.

Got grace?  I hope so.

Are People Too Stupid to Govern Themselves?

I have never written about politics, but when you feel like you should, you probably should. Though I am registered as a republican, I have always voted for the person I felt was right for the job. I feel it is a travesty we are normally stuck with choosing one of the two major parties.  

You know, the most troubling argument in our national life these days isn’t about economics, or policy at all. It’s about us, as a free people. From a world view, the contention is that we Americans just can’t cut it anymore. Can this be true? Are people too stupid to govern themselves?

Our politicians tell us that we just can’t handle ourselves in this intricate, hazardous world without their kindly protection. Left to ourselves, we might pick the wrong health insurance, the wrong mortgage, the wrong school for our kids; unless they stop us, we might pick the wrong light bulb!

Some contend we Americans are no longer up to the job of self-government. We can’t do the simple math that proves the tremendous cost of today’s safety net programs, or all the government we now have. We always fall for the con job that says we can just plow ahead and someone else will pick up the tab. We will allow ourselves to be pitted one against the other, blaming our neighbor for troubles worldwide trends or our own government has caused.

2012 must be the year we prove the doubters wrong. This is the year we strike out fearlessly not merely to ward off national bankruptcy, but to say to a new generation that America is still the world’s foremost land of opportunity. At the polls speak for those who believe in the dignity and capacity of the individual citizen; who believe that government is meant to serve the people rather than supervise them; who trust Americans enough to tell them the plain truth about the fix we are in, and to lay before them a specific, credible program of change big enough to meet the emergency we are facing.

The record by President Obama is a joke. No American should stand for the things done to them. Does the current administration only rely on those who are too stupid not to vote for them?  Is the message one only stupid people will believe? And while there are too many of those, most Americans shouldn’t be fooled into thinking the country can stand another four years.

Are People Too Stupid to Govern Themselves?

I have never written about politics, but when you feel like you should, you probably should. Though I am registered as a republican, I have always voted for the person I felt was right for the job. I feel it is a travesty we are normally stuck with choosing one of the two major parties.  

You know, the most troubling argument in our national life these days isn’t about economics, or policy at all. It’s about us, as a free people. From a world view, the contention is that we Americans just can’t cut it anymore. Can this be true? Are people too stupid to govern themselves?

Our politicians tell us that we just can’t handle ourselves in this intricate, hazardous world without their kindly protection. Left to ourselves, we might pick the wrong health insurance, the wrong mortgage, the wrong school for our kids; unless they stop us, we might pick the wrong light bulb!

Some contend we Americans are no longer up to the job of self-government. We can’t do the simple math that proves the tremendous cost of today’s safety net programs, or all the government we now have. We always fall for the con job that says we can just plow ahead and someone else will pick up the tab. We will allow ourselves to be pitted one against the other, blaming our neighbor for troubles worldwide trends or our own government has caused.

2012 must be the year we prove the doubters wrong. This is the year we strike out fearlessly not merely to ward off national bankruptcy, but to say to a new generation that America is still the world’s foremost land of opportunity. At the polls speak for those who believe in the dignity and capacity of the individual citizen; who believe that government is meant to serve the people rather than supervise them; who trust Americans enough to tell them the plain truth about the fix we are in, and to lay before them a specific, credible program of change big enough to meet the emergency we are facing.

The record by the administration and congress is a joke. No American should stand for the things done to them. Does the current administration only rely on those who are too stupid not to vote for them?  Is the message one only stupid people will believe? And while there are too many of those, most Americans shouldn’t be fooled into thinking the country can stand another four years.

Getting off your butt and taking charge.

Leadership: Getting off your butt and taking charge.

Saturday you probably saw the story unfolding down in Italy where the cruise ship Costa Concordia ran aground.  Early accounts talked about the ship's Captain, Francesco Schettino abandoning ship with passengers still aboard.  This morning. official transcripts from the port authority show a terrified ship commander that had no interest in re-boarding the stricken ship.  When the time for taking charge came along, he bailed out.

A friend of mine told me a story about attending a local rodeo. They parked the car in a cramped dirt lot across the street from the Convention Center and when they went to the get the car, it was parked in the corner with five cars stacked around it. The two Middle Eastern men who ran the lot were trying to park cars, remove cars, fix a flat which meant that him and the family were standing around for quite a while waiting for their car.  Finally, stressed out, both men just stood around, paralyzed while they stood out in the hot sun.  My friend yelled at them out of frustration, telling them that the cars won't move by just staring at them.  That seemed to shake them up and they got busy.  Finally they managed to get their car.  Nobody took charge and without that, nobody got anything done.

Leadership is a combination of knowing what you need to do, but the most important part is the actual doing!  Having knowledge and experience does nothing without taking charge and implementing it.

I'm starting to realize that the amount of people taking charge anymore is pretty small. Maybe people are searching in vain for that "leader."  I wonder if maybe this is your chance to step up?

Look for opportunities to take charge when there seems to be apathy or lethargy.  When the outcome is uncertain and people are paralyzed by it, it's your chance to jump in and take control.  Maybe there is a hidden leader inside that you'll finally get to awaken.

This is two incidents. Who knows how many you come across.  There is power in taking charge. Why not tap into that power?

Beware of "The Creep"

We're just a few days into the new year and for many folks, their well-intended resolutions (we've decided to call them goals) are already on the path to failure.

The scary part is that they have no idea.  For now everything seems right on track.  The diet's going well.  They've made it to the gym four of the past five days.  What ever your resolution. You're taking proactive steps.  What they haven't been tracking is the "creep." "Creep" is a word used in the consulting field when the original scope of the project is slowly and subtly increased.  It happens benignly enough but before it's too late to change course, the new changes are locked in.

The danger of the "creep" is that it starts so innocently and changes our thinking from "no way" to "it's OK, just this once."  From "scope creep" in a project to "brass creep" at the Pentagon, no one and no thing is immune to it.

This week, take another look at your goal and look for potential opportunities to "creep."  Make yourself aware so you can avoid those situations. Don't let your progress for this year get sidetracked from the beginning!