Recently, folks in the United States flooded each other with questions like "what were you doing on 9/11?"  Those of us who are old enough to remember that day can also remember the sights, sounds, smells, reactions, and feelings of that day.  We can recount nearly everything we experienced in those moments and it brings back the hopeless, vulnerable, and sad feelings we all experienced that day.  In a sense, they have become part of what anchors that day in our memory.

Most people, including myself, all have certain "anchors" we reflect on.  They're often about a significant day or event we've experienced and when we think about it, it often elicits certain feelings.

One of my anchors was the day, many years ago, when my boss told me he needed me to be the "slide monkey" (that's the guy who pushes the enter button on a laptop to move the PowerPoint slides forward) while he briefed our Plan.  I had helped create and facilitate this plan and when told all I was to do in the brief was be the "slide monkey" it really hurt.  I hung on to that memory for a long time, and even now I am nauseated when asked to be the "slide monkey" during one of our briefs.

Anchors don't always have to be negative though.  I often think back of times when things went really well and savor the feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment.  Just like the smell of a turkey in the oven reminds you of family gatherings at Thanksgiving (and hopefully some good memories!), positive anchors can take you from a bad mood to a good one.

What are the anchors you're focusing on?  Do you find yourself replaying every hurtful things ever done to you or are you focusing on some of your greatest moments?  What you saturate your mind with will play out in your outward attitude and interactions with others.  Negative people project the same negative feelings that are anchored to events.  The phrase "expect the worst and you won't be disappointed" is a classic example.  On the other hand, being optimistic is nothing more than remembering successes from the past and searching out the same kind of success for the future.

Think about all the POSITIVE anchors in your life.  In spite of what others say, look at each challenge as an opportunity to add yet another POSITIVE anchor into your memory bank.  It's a much happier way to live your life, and people can't help but want to be around those who project optimism.  It's nothing but a simple choice, but only you can make it.

I have always been someone who avoids Pan handlers. I always wonder if they are scamming me. I have to admit this is not one of my few redeeming characteristics. Today I read an article about Vicki Julian's forthcoming work, Simple Things to Make This World a Better Place. As a Minister, Vicki uses biblical reference for each of her examples. She suggest for the needy who ask You for money (Matthew 5:42). Buy fast food certificates and have them handy to give to those who are hungry. Buy bus tokens or discount store gift certificates to give. Keep numbers and addresses of agencies that can help and give it on a card to the person if they are unaware of where to go for assistance.

I am very impressed with this approach and wanted to share it.

God bless our Firefighters.

Too often we take for granted the hard work and training that our full time and volunteer firefighters do. It is with much gratitude that I express thanks them for the fast and professional reaction to the fires all over Texas. It is an honor to have them as a valued part of our community, working industriously to keep us all safe. God bless you all!

Please remember those folks in the Bastrop area. So far, more than 400 homes have burned and more than 5,000 people have been evacuated. More than 25,000 acres have burned.

Close to home for me is Fort Hood. Our Firefighters have been stretched to their limits. Working night and day keeping the wildfires at bay. On Monday, the Jack Mountain wildfire was 75% contained, when the wind picked up the fire regained strength burning an additional 700 acres. In all, it's burned an estimated 3,700 acres.

More than 1 million acres statewide have been destroyed since April 6.

"Your Word Is Your Bond"

This statement was one, I heard all the time, as I was growing up.  I was taught that your word is your bond. This statement meant to always honor your word. My Grandfather would always tell me this. Now that I'm older and have realized life; I understand what my dear old granddad was trying to instill in me. I'm trying to teach my children the same thing.

Granddad told me if we tell someone something, then we should do whatever it was, that we told the person we, would do. Your word is your bond means exactly that you do what you say. I've strived to treat others the way I wanted to be treated, I have always tried to be honest and tell a person exactly what I meant.

If you tell someone you're going to do something, then honor the promise you made to the person. You don't want to build your life on a mountain of lies. I for one, cannot stand a liar, so don't make me any promises you can't or won't keep. Honesty and truth comes from your ability to honor your word in life.

If you live your life with honesty and humility, people will honor you and respect you, because they know they can trust you and your word; regardless of any other circumstances. If you continue to make constant promises and never keep them, then your word won't be worth anything to anyone.

One of the most important messages I want to give my children is; nobody is perfect, and it’s okay to fail. It’s not okay to not use those life lessons to make it better in the future. Chalk it up to life experience and do better. Be honest about your mistakes, and be honest to those around you.

Try to always live your life where anyone can give you a good recommendation as an honest and trustworthy person. You don't want your life shaded by darkness because of not being able to tell the truth, and live accordingly. My Grandfather is dead and gone, but he made me realize that my word is my bond, it's a true saying that I try and live my life by each and every day.

This week I asked myself, "Am I Relevent"?

It seems as though few things are original anymore.  The term "retread" comes from those big truck tires you often see shredded on the highway.  It's a cheap way to extend the life of a tire.  When a retread wears out though, it's a pretty messy thing.  In the NFL, coaches such as Wade Phillips, Mike Shanahan, and Pete Carroll are referred to as "retreads."  They get hired, fired, and rehired by different teams with predictable regularity.

Professionally and personally speaking, how original are you?  Do you regularly think about original ways of doing things or do you fall into the trap of reinventing something old.  In my field, I often run across trainers presenting dated material, tools, and examples that were in vogue back in the early 1990s.  There's something to be said for classic material, but for new audiences, originality is extremely important.  Retro may be "cool", but its popularity is faddish and short-lived.  Our ability to stay current and relevant is key to our being successful.

This week, think about what you do, create, build, or teach.  Ask yourself if you're being original or simply doing a retread of what's been done previously.  If you are, can you at least modify it enough so that the outcome might be relevant?

Why is my are teenage boy starting to talk back, being disrespectful, and wants to quit?

Why is my are teenage boy starting to talk back, being disrespectful, and wants to quit?  This is a question I have been asking myself lately. In doing a little research I ran across a BSA article I had shared on our scouting face book page a while back. It was all about why boys might want to quit scouting, and why the parents should carefully think about their response. I took a few minutes and modified the article to be a bit more generic, not scouting specific. As a parent I find myself frustrated, feeling a bit overwhelmed. This article helped me put things in to perspective. I hope it helps you.

As boys grow up and especially during their adolescence they need consistent, secure, predictable experiences and relationships. Much of their world is shifting and changing as they grow and change themselves. They need affirmation and confidence. Some boys may seem they are encountering changes that make them question their abilities and redefining the way they see themselves. This uncertainty can be invigorating or unsettling, or a bit of both. Boys need expressions of affirmation and confidence especially when they make mistakes in judgment or encounter failure.

Boys are defining the borders of their world as they grow into adults. They question rules, they push limits, they resist. They are looking for the reason behind the expectations imposed on them. They won't admit it, but they appreciate some discipline that helps them focus on these expectations. There are three basic situations to consider: They are in the throes of adolescent uncertainty, sometimes they are clearly headed for trouble. They

may fill their schedule with other interests, they may grow to abhor things they have enjoyed for years. They may just be ready to explore new things. I encourage parents in this situation to help their sons make a clear decision.

When boys are experiencing the uncertainty of adolescence they need consistency, security, affirmation, confidence, discipline and predictable expectations. As a parent I would push him to stick with the activity he wants to quit. Sports, Band, Scouting are just a few examples. He’ll resist, he’ll complain about it, but I’d keep with it for a few months and reassess the situation. If a boy is headed for trouble, by that I mean his behavior and choices are clearly leading him towards people, places and activities that are going to threaten his education, health or safety, his parents are headed for one of two battles. Would you rather go to battle over making him to stick with a positive activity, or would you rather deal with the consequences of your son getting into serious trouble? There’s no guarantee but making him stick to it may save you and your son from suffering the consequences of real trouble.

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

I read a classic book by Dale Carnegie entitled How to Win Friends and Influence People. If you've never read it, I'd highly recommend it.  Carnegie's words were penned decades ago but they're still relevant today.  One section of the book is summarized below:

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1.    The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

2.    Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're Wrong."

3.    If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

4.    Begin in a friendly way.

5.    Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes.

6.    Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

7.    Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.

8.    Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.

9.    Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.

10.   Appeal to the nobler motives.

11.   Dramatize your ideas.

12.   Throw down a challenge.

Each of these is explained in great depth in the book (using examples of people who have long since passed on - which is part of the charm of the book) so I won't attempt to do it here.  What I will do however is encourage you to operate by them, even if just at their face value.

We often encounter shouting matches between people.  Even though the loudest opponent sometimes wins, in the long run, nobody really wins.  The person who feels they are successful, will employ the tactic every time in the future.  The person who feels they lost the argument will immediately have a bad day and pass that attitude on to the next person they come across, which might just incite another explosion. 

The answer?  Keep your cool.  I've found (even though I sometimes have a hair-trigger temper), particularly in dealing with irate people that by using a smile and a calm tone of voice, I get far more than if I am loud and obnoxious.  People feed off our attitude.  If it's good, you'll get it back in return.  If it's bad, you'll get it right back.

This week as you encounter situations with within the community, underperforming employees, or that rude person yakking loudly next to you on their cell phone, take a moment for a quick attitude adjustment.  This week we will all have the opportunity to have some opportunities to practice these principles.  Let's see if we can all have a good week!