"Your Word Is Your Bond"

This statement was one, I heard all the time, as I was growing up.  I was taught that your word is your bond. This statement meant to always honor your word. My Grandfather would always tell me this. Now that I'm older and have realized life; I understand what my dear old granddad was trying to instill in me. I'm trying to teach my children the same thing.

Granddad told me if we tell someone something, then we should do whatever it was, that we told the person we, would do. Your word is your bond means exactly that you do what you say. I've strived to treat others the way I wanted to be treated, I have always tried to be honest and tell a person exactly what I meant.

If you tell someone you're going to do something, then honor the promise you made to the person. You don't want to build your life on a mountain of lies. I for one, cannot stand a liar, so don't make me any promises you can't or won't keep. Honesty and truth comes from your ability to honor your word in life.

If you live your life with honesty and humility, people will honor you and respect you, because they know they can trust you and your word; regardless of any other circumstances. If you continue to make constant promises and never keep them, then your word won't be worth anything to anyone.

One of the most important messages I want to give my children is; nobody is perfect, and it’s okay to fail. It’s not okay to not use those life lessons to make it better in the future. Chalk it up to life experience and do better. Be honest about your mistakes, and be honest to those around you.

Try to always live your life where anyone can give you a good recommendation as an honest and trustworthy person. You don't want your life shaded by darkness because of not being able to tell the truth, and live accordingly. My Grandfather is dead and gone, but he made me realize that my word is my bond, it's a true saying that I try and live my life by each and every day.

This week I asked myself, "Am I Relevent"?

It seems as though few things are original anymore.  The term "retread" comes from those big truck tires you often see shredded on the highway.  It's a cheap way to extend the life of a tire.  When a retread wears out though, it's a pretty messy thing.  In the NFL, coaches such as Wade Phillips, Mike Shanahan, and Pete Carroll are referred to as "retreads."  They get hired, fired, and rehired by different teams with predictable regularity.

Professionally and personally speaking, how original are you?  Do you regularly think about original ways of doing things or do you fall into the trap of reinventing something old.  In my field, I often run across trainers presenting dated material, tools, and examples that were in vogue back in the early 1990s.  There's something to be said for classic material, but for new audiences, originality is extremely important.  Retro may be "cool", but its popularity is faddish and short-lived.  Our ability to stay current and relevant is key to our being successful.

This week, think about what you do, create, build, or teach.  Ask yourself if you're being original or simply doing a retread of what's been done previously.  If you are, can you at least modify it enough so that the outcome might be relevant?

Why is my are teenage boy starting to talk back, being disrespectful, and wants to quit?

Why is my are teenage boy starting to talk back, being disrespectful, and wants to quit?  This is a question I have been asking myself lately. In doing a little research I ran across a BSA article I had shared on our scouting face book page a while back. It was all about why boys might want to quit scouting, and why the parents should carefully think about their response. I took a few minutes and modified the article to be a bit more generic, not scouting specific. As a parent I find myself frustrated, feeling a bit overwhelmed. This article helped me put things in to perspective. I hope it helps you.

As boys grow up and especially during their adolescence they need consistent, secure, predictable experiences and relationships. Much of their world is shifting and changing as they grow and change themselves. They need affirmation and confidence. Some boys may seem they are encountering changes that make them question their abilities and redefining the way they see themselves. This uncertainty can be invigorating or unsettling, or a bit of both. Boys need expressions of affirmation and confidence especially when they make mistakes in judgment or encounter failure.

Boys are defining the borders of their world as they grow into adults. They question rules, they push limits, they resist. They are looking for the reason behind the expectations imposed on them. They won't admit it, but they appreciate some discipline that helps them focus on these expectations. There are three basic situations to consider: They are in the throes of adolescent uncertainty, sometimes they are clearly headed for trouble. They

may fill their schedule with other interests, they may grow to abhor things they have enjoyed for years. They may just be ready to explore new things. I encourage parents in this situation to help their sons make a clear decision.

When boys are experiencing the uncertainty of adolescence they need consistency, security, affirmation, confidence, discipline and predictable expectations. As a parent I would push him to stick with the activity he wants to quit. Sports, Band, Scouting are just a few examples. He’ll resist, he’ll complain about it, but I’d keep with it for a few months and reassess the situation. If a boy is headed for trouble, by that I mean his behavior and choices are clearly leading him towards people, places and activities that are going to threaten his education, health or safety, his parents are headed for one of two battles. Would you rather go to battle over making him to stick with a positive activity, or would you rather deal with the consequences of your son getting into serious trouble? There’s no guarantee but making him stick to it may save you and your son from suffering the consequences of real trouble.

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

I read a classic book by Dale Carnegie entitled How to Win Friends and Influence People. If you've never read it, I'd highly recommend it.  Carnegie's words were penned decades ago but they're still relevant today.  One section of the book is summarized below:

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1.    The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

2.    Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're Wrong."

3.    If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

4.    Begin in a friendly way.

5.    Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes.

6.    Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

7.    Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.

8.    Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.

9.    Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.

10.   Appeal to the nobler motives.

11.   Dramatize your ideas.

12.   Throw down a challenge.

Each of these is explained in great depth in the book (using examples of people who have long since passed on - which is part of the charm of the book) so I won't attempt to do it here.  What I will do however is encourage you to operate by them, even if just at their face value.

We often encounter shouting matches between people.  Even though the loudest opponent sometimes wins, in the long run, nobody really wins.  The person who feels they are successful, will employ the tactic every time in the future.  The person who feels they lost the argument will immediately have a bad day and pass that attitude on to the next person they come across, which might just incite another explosion. 

The answer?  Keep your cool.  I've found (even though I sometimes have a hair-trigger temper), particularly in dealing with irate people that by using a smile and a calm tone of voice, I get far more than if I am loud and obnoxious.  People feed off our attitude.  If it's good, you'll get it back in return.  If it's bad, you'll get it right back.

This week as you encounter situations with within the community, underperforming employees, or that rude person yakking loudly next to you on their cell phone, take a moment for a quick attitude adjustment.  This week we will all have the opportunity to have some opportunities to practice these principles.  Let's see if we can all have a good week!

Back To School Safety

It’s hard to believe another school year is rolling around!  The first day of school! It is an important time for students, parents, and teachers to get the year started off with a bang.  It’s up to everyone to see that these kids are safe while they are on a school bus, crossing the street, or being carpooled.

Drivers must pay special attention as they approach crosswalks and are in neighborhoods where kids are walking to school.  They may be busy talking to each other and forget to be as careful as they should.  That’s when we all must do our part to ensure their safety.  When you are backing out of your driveway, take it a little slower, just in case there are some small pedestrians in your drive.  Be watchful for children on and near the road in the morning and after school.  Take extra time to watch for children on medians, curbs, and at intersections.  Slow down and be alert.  Turn your cell phone off and concentrate on the road while you are driving in school zones.

Until a child is 10 years old, they should cross the street with an adult.  If they walk to school, help find another child they can walk with.  Caution them to cross only at corners, using traffic signals and crosswalks, or obey the crosswalk guard.  Kids should know never to run into the streets or cross in between parked cars.

School bus safety is very important.  Tell your child to wait for the bus to stop before stepping off the curb.  They should stay seated while on the bus, and use lap or shoulder straps if the bus has them.  Children should always get on and off the bus at locations that provide safe access to the bus or school building.  They should always remain in the driver’s view.

If they ride a bike to school, make sure they always wear a helmet.  They should ride on the right side of the road, with the direction of auto traffic.  Teach them to use the correct hand signals.  Wearing brightly colored clothing will increase visibility; also, there are high visibility stickers that could be placed on the bike or backpack to help be noticed.

Record-high temperatures continue to be recorded.  Consideration should be given about food safety, for children who take their lunch.  It’s been noted that foods that should be refrigerated spoil during the time they stay in lunchboxes.  Choose what you send carefully;  non-perishables would be best, or ask the teacher is if there is a small refrigerator in the room that your child’s lunchbox or sack lunch could be kept until lunchtime.

Backpacks should have wide, padded shoulder straps and a padded back.  Heavier items should be packed closer to the center of the backpack.  It should never weigh more than 10 to 20 per cent of the weight of your child.  Rolling backpacks are a good choice for students with a heavy load of books, etc.  Just be sure the school allows this type of backpack, and that it won’t have to be lugged up stairs.

There are so many things to express about school safety.  I wish every child from Pre-K to 12 a very happy school year!  Good luck to you parents, too!

I'm thinking about a movie I watched recently...True Grit with Jeff Bridges. I saw the original True Grit starring John Wayne at the drive-in with my parents many years ago and this remake was actually pretty good. That's not what I'm thinking about though.  I'm kind of amazed at how Jeff Bridges is finally becoming recognized as a significant actor.

Now if you're a Jeff Bridges fan, you'll no doubt remember him from some of his memorable roles from many years ago, Tron, Thunderbolt and Lightfoot as well as some of his more forgettable offerings such as Starman and The Fabulous Baker Boys.  For some reason, his star is finally shining with him finally becoming recognized with an Academy Award for his role in Crazy Heart.

He's not the only one making a resurgence.  Actress Betty White is actually "white hot" right now, with her newfound recognition by the younger crowd after seeing her in that crazy Snickers commercial during the Super bowl.   After years of perseverance, she is finally one of the most popular and recognizable actresses in Hollywood.

These actors are just two examples of people I know who were successful early in their career and have managed a kind of late bloomer type career. If you're a fan of comeback stories and people who find success later in life, you've got plenty of examples...Harlan (the KFC Colonel) Sanders, Willie Nelson, George Foreman, etc. As I become shall we say more mature, it's good to know you don't become obsolete.

Somebody Needs Help

There are many charitable organization and many people who generously give to those groups. This is certainly a true statement. Don’t you agree? So why are there so many Americans who need help?  When you give your money to a charity, you don’t know who you’re helping, or how much of your money is going to pay for the organizational structure. How many of us when we see those charitable infomercials wonder to your selves if the money is not lining someone’s pockets. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we should not give to charity. There are many wonderful charities. I’m saying know what your donations are paying for.

I take a different approach. In our community there is no need to go far to find somebody who needs help. Wouldn’t it be a great world if each one of us who could, would help. We all have someone nearby to help. How often we forget those directly around us. Just think, you decide who you’re going to help. You know everything you do is going directly to benefit that person. No overhead or infrastructure to pay for.

I’ve chosen my way of helping. Have you? I challenge each of us to take on a worthy cause in which you can see immediate results. Remember what Mother Teresa said; "Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you."

For those of you who say; you neither have the time, or money, I say stop using excuses. Do what you can. Only you can look inside yourself and know what you’re capable of.